Anxiety Warrior By Elke Scholz
I bought this book 6 months ago at the Toronto Yoga Show. I was manning a booth to promote Bhakti Marga and the upcoming Darshan of Paramahamsa Vishwananda, my Guru & teacher in Toronto and Elke had the booth right next to mine. She was promoting her brand new book, Anxiety Warrior.
So many people stopped by her booth captured by the word “anxiety.” At the time, I really couldn’t relate. I didn’t understand what the big deal with anxiety was.
I’m going through a bit of a test right now with some things from my past related to my career and I have to openly admit that it is giving me anxiety.
Anxiety is a very complex disorder. I use the word “disorder” because it makes you feel like nothing is in order and it makes sure to mess up the orderliness in your life in other areas that are not directly connected to the cause of your anxiety. I think for me, it’s mild but I’m just starting to learn about this and who knows, it may turn out that it’s more than just mild anxiety for me right now.
The saddest part of this whole thing is that I realized today that I was trying to look at someone else to make it better and to make me happy. Like I mentioned in this post, I tried to be positive. I tried to see the things that I’m thankful for, things that are good in my life, and celebrate them and highlight them. In an attempt to look at the positive things in my life instead of the negative, I may have leaned on other people too much and not taken ownership of dealing with my feelings and the root cause of it myself. It was difficult to awaken to the fact that my happiness lies only with me and not with someone else. This is one responsibility that I shouldn’t share with someone but continue to own completely.
I’m looking forward to finishing Elke’s book. I’ve read only a dozen pages so far and it has already shifted my level of understanding immensely and helped me to understand my state of being in the last few days better.