My Father, the most misunderstood man in the world
BThis is my father who I affectionately call Bapi and he’s the most misunderstood man in the world.
My parents split up when I was about 4 years old. They didn’t officially divorce until I was 8 but my Dad moved to Canada when I was 4, separating from my Mum in a more permanent way.
Ever since I can remember, people like some of my aunts and other females in the family have been pouring poison in my ears about him so I grew up hating him in many ways. (Credit goes to my Mum for never uttering a single negative thing about my Dad to me. She’s an ocean of patience and I am so grateful to God for that.)
I recently found out that someone very close to me had manipulated me really badly against my Dad and this person did it to hurt him. This person couldn’t have him the way they wanted and totally used me to hurt him by manipulating me to hate him and to be cruel to him.
This caused me to stop talking to my Dad completely for three years.
That’s far too long for a daughter to have a bad relationship with her father.
My Atma Kriya Yoga teacher, Swamini Karuna, aka Teresa Hale, the founder of the prestigious Hale Clinic in London, often advised me to fix my relationship with my father during that time. I fought against her advice even though she was right about it affecting other relationships in my life.
Finally, after being forced to see him at an event I was MCing in 2015 when I moved back to Toronto, I slowly realized that I have to mend our relationship.
“This confirmed to me that I had misunderstood my Father all along.”
I invited Bapi to come and meet me and celebrate my birthday with me at the ashram of my Guru in Germany. He immediately was open and enthusiastic about the idea whereas other important guys in my life like my ex of 3 years never agreed to visit Germany with me once. This was a positive sign and one of the clues I started noticing about the kind of love my Dad has for me, which is quite unconditional.
He came to the ashram, he met my Guru and instantly recognized that my Guru, Paramahamsa Vishwananda and our Paramguru Mahavatar Babaji were the same person. I was shocked to hear him say that but he mentioned it so matter of factly, and innocently like a child. Then when Guruji came up and started talking to my Dad, they held each others hands and apparently Guruji wouldn’t let go of my Dad’s hand for the entire time they spoke, which was easily 5 minutes or more.
Recently, my Dad gave me his opinion about someone and when I spoke to Guruji about the same thing, Guruji’s words were almost identical to what my Dad had already told me.
I was shocked! And this confirmed to me that I had misunderstood my Father all along.
In the past, he would just tell me the truth as he saw it but in my arrogance and in my desire to only hear what I wanted to hear, I would take his words as hurtful. Just because he wasn’t telling me what I wanted to hear, even if it turned out that he was right all along, I had hated him.
But now I am slowly realizing that he said everything he said out of love. My Father has a debilitating condition of being truthful. He hasn’t yet lied to me no matter how much that truth hurt me or hurt him to say. And he has never stopped loving me no matter how much of a brat I’ve been and how many hurtful words I fired at him carelessly over the years. I hope he will forgive me for those mistakes.
I love you Bapi. I love you so much. And I hope that one day I’ll learn to love as unconditionally as you’ve loved me.